Archive for the 'Reviews' Category

17
Aug

In Response. Because Sometimes, Just A Comment Doesn’t Cut It


Before you read this, read this.

I agree with pretty much everything Tyler said in that post. The BFBC controls are to COD4 controls as a sloppy joe is to a precisely cut slice of sashimi, the Battlefield hit detection should be called, “hit-or-miss detection,” and visually, there is no comparison between the two games.

BUT! The thing that makes BFBC stand out to me is the depth of the online multiplayer. All the various vehicle types that make killing possible from the land, sea, and air, is something that COD4 is sorely lacking. That’s the main reason that, unless a couple friends want to team up, I’m pretty much over COD4. Although not nearly the game as part four is, COD3 had a much longer shelf-life for me, simply because things like patrolling the outskirts of Eder Dam in a .50 cal-ed up Jeep with a friend never got old.

Also, even though there isn’t quite the weapon or perk selection that’s found in COD4, there is enough customization to keep me happy and interested, and the size of the maps actually allow for a little strategery, instead of just runnin’ and gunnin.

My point is, side-by-side, the single player modes don’t even compare, COD4 is on a level that no other game has even come close to yet. But the multiplayer modes of both games offer both equally different, and awesome, experiences.

P.S. Sorry about using the same picture, Tyler, I just really like it.

17
Aug

Comparative Bit-erature: COD4 vs BFBC

So, I just played COD4 for about two hours. Then I immediately went in and played BFBC for about an hour and a half. And I think I’m qualified enough now to say that I don’t like BFBC nearly as much as COD4. And when I say nearly, I mean, like, 1/10th as much.

Which confuses me because I was pretty amped on Bad Company for the all the eye-sexing destrucability. Having breakable environments is one of the things, along with recordable matches and completely customizable controls, that will take a game from good to excellent for me. Or so I thought. COD has none of those things, but it does a couple things with superbly well.

I don’t know if it’s all of the time I’ve spent with COD or what, but it flows so much better. I feel this comes from two things. First - tight, responsive controls. I can’t even think of another game that has caused such ingrained muscle memory. I can literally tell you, with words, the button combos and d-pad directions one would need to press in order to do anything they want. Granted, the same reaction would have come from playing more of BFBC, and this leads me to my second point.

Hit detection. A la Gears of War, who the fuck likes to empty CLIPS at guys and see them smoke you at arms length? Not me, monsignor. There is relatively no splash damage, and bullets seem to slide around enemies like they were made out of butter. Also, the player moves at a chunky and unresponsive clip, I feel like I might as well paint a bulls eye on my back.

Tragedy, dear readers. Because the explosions look so damn good and there really is no feeling like removing a house being used for cover with a 120mm tank round.

13
Aug

Hit Me With Your Best Shot


I just finished watching the movie Hitman, and I’d have to say that I’m pleased. It’s definitely not winning and Oscars (or any Golden Globes, for that matter), but it did what it set out to do: make a video game-based movie that is still good standing alone against the game itself. By that I mean that even someone that is not a fan of the games could still enjoy it.

It accomplished this by doing a lot of things right: It had an R rating, which opened the door for gratuitous violence and unnecessary nudity, it didn’t have any cheesily-blatant references to the game, and it didn’t have any kids (actually there was a small scene that had both of those last two at the same time, but it was small enough to be forgivable). At the same time, though, it stayed true to the methods of Agent 47 for the most part, with only a few scenes of shoot ‘em up action sequences, the likes of which anyone that has played the game knows damn well to avoid.

What it did have, but didn’t need, though, was a romantic sub-plot. Luckily, the only sex scene ended prematurely (47 and I have a lot in common).

In conclusion, I would recommend this movie to nerds like the writers and readers of Threevue, otherwise, go watch The Bridges of Madison County or something.

11
Aug

Unplayed Game Reviews! - Bikini Zombie Killing and Communism Both Sound Good In Theory Edition

Oneechanbara (don’t worry, it’s just giberish) is the Japanese game equivalent of a Dagwood sandwich. You think you want all the ingredients smooshed together, but when it actually happens, all you got on your plate is the bitter, bitter fruit of bad judgement. The main problem isn’t that big a problem, it’s just that everything is done very poorly. The same three zombies sputter around the game world and look like they shambled out of a Halloween Public Library-Turned-Haunted House. I like to imagine I’m killing real once dead human beings, with kids and families… not imaginary jumbles of polygons copied and pasted on in to the environment.

But let’s get down to brass tacks: the aforementioned bikini. Really, it’s nothing to holler about. It’s hard to focus on the “fit bird” (English people know what I’m sayin’) when so much other offensive eye-garbage has somehow made it’s way on to your screen. All these things, along with the Devil May Cry-stolen gameplay just makes me want to vomit my ass off.

Once again - I have not played this game.

09
Aug

Review: Penny Arcade Adventures -Episode 1- On The Rain-slick Precipice Of Darkness

I hate my TV. It’s that 34 inch Magnetbox’s fault for making my least favorite thing about PAAE1OTRSPOD even worse. Reading. The text is redonculously small, and when played on a CRT television, the game is hard to see when viewed at more than three feet away. This is compounded by the fact that there is a metric Fuck-Ton of text in Precipice. Good news - the writing is hilarious, so at least you can enjoy the cataract inducing squint-fest ( at least for me).

Also, get ready to do some serious backtracking, Metroid Prime style.

Okay, now that we got that out of the way, the rest of the game is pretty darn great. The style is turn-based RPG so if that is not your cup of tee, just skip on to the next post on the site.

Continue reading ‘Review: Penny Arcade Adventures -Episode 1- On The Rain-slick Precipice Of Darkness’

07
Aug

Shoot Me Up


If someone came to me and asked, “Mark, should I see the movie Shoot ‘Em Up?” I would say, “Yes, 100% yes.” But then I would say, “Absolutely not.”

I just finished watching the bullet parade, and I would say that overall I liked it, but I don’t feel that it completely pulled off the over-the-top feel that it was going for. It wasn’t until about ten minutes into the movie to realize, “oh, ok, it supposed to be like this. I get it.” After that epiphany, it was a lot more fun to watch. I think that many people wouldn’t really get the ridiculousness of it, though.

Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti are two of my favorite actors, and they both played their roles very well. So, yes, see this movie, but don’t take it so srsly.

06
Aug

Premature Review: XBLA’s Braid


There were only two things I knew about the new XBLA game Braid before I downloaded it: 1) I didn’t know anything about it, and 2) It was $15. I did download it, though, and now I know three things about it: 1) I still know very little about it, 2) it was $15, and 3) it’s awesome.

I’ve only played through the first few levels of the picturesque platformer, but I really like it. It’s like a very melancholy Super Mario Bros., complete with an interned princess who is in a perpetual state of being in another castle. It’s also very difficult, and requires you to radically alter your thinking in order to complete the puzzling objectives.

I highly recommend that everyone at least check out the demo, but so far, it’s been 15 bucks well spent.

06
Aug

Review: 1942 Joint Strike

If you are bat-shit crazy enough to ask yourself the question “Does Tyler really like the 1942 series?”, then you need to go HERE.

Done?

M’kay. Take all of what you just read and bump it up a half letter grade for a complete graphics overhaul and inventive 2 Player additions and you there you have 1942: Joint Strike. At it’s core, this is the exact same game as it’s predecessors. Swarming enemies with differing abilities/attacks, reflexive movement and dodging requirements, quick strategery to gain decisive power-ups and massive boss battles all come in for a smooth landing with this renovation of the series. The main focal point of this game are the graphics though.

Joint Strike is exactly the kind of update you want to see one of you favorite games become. Since the original was rooted in a graphically realistic domain such as the Pacific Theater (unlike Pac-Man CE’s infinite electronic maze-scape) , 1942:JS benefits beautifully from the washed out detailing it has received.

Problems? Fine, if you want to be fair and evenhanded, there were a few gripes I had about the game. One thing is that I couldn’t find one single game open for mutiplayer. Not one! That’s a shame. This game is meant to be played with another person, it’s even in the title! I couldn’t beat the 4th level alone, so look me up if you’re feeling the need…. the NEED FORawww forget it.

Also, the game was less a vertical shooter as it was a perpendicular shooter. Since the screen of most every good shmup is taller than it is wide, the dimensions of the gamespace feel a little contorted on in the widescreen format. If only you could turn the image 90 degrees clockwise and stand your $2000 Bravia on it’s side like the champs do for Ikaruga.

Overall, one of my favorite games to hit XBLA since Cloning Clyde.

JK

02
Aug

Review: The Watchmen Graphic Novel

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? - Who watches the watchmen?

Like everyone else last week, I went to to see The Dark Knight and caught the trailer for The Watchmen before. So let me ask this. Was anyone else more interested in that movie than the latest Batman? I felt like I knew where Batman was going to go, but Watchmen was a completely unknown saga to me. It helped that it is hailed by Time Magazine as one if the best 100 novels ever. Mind you, I didn’t say graphic novels… But novel novels. Impressive chops.

The same thing happened to me when I saw the trailers for 300 and The Fountain, which are both film versions of extended length comics. Luckily, a friend of mine owned a copy and I set about reading it. Do you want to know what I think of it? I bet.

Mega Spoilers ahead, if you don’t want the movie spoiled just read the last paragraph for a secret-free review.

Continue reading ‘Review: The Watchmen Graphic Novel’

31
Jul

Arcade Summer: XBLA Makes Up For Past Transgressions

Can you feel it? It’s on the way, people. Two months of seriously awesome games heading to XBLA. 1942, Geometry Wars 2, Bionic Commando Rearmed, Braid, Galaga Legions and Castle Crashers.

We’re already headlong in to this little season of radness, 1942 and Geo-Wars 2 are available for download at relatively low prices. Watch this space for reviews on both titles.

Next up is Braid on Aug 6th, Bionic Commando (w00t!) on the 13th, Aug 20 sees Galaga Legions and the Coup d’État: Castle Crashers on Aug 27th. Some August huh?

31
Jul

Demotopia! Japanese Fighting Games Edition


Sometimes, a guy just wants to mash some buttons and watch two guys, two girls, or a guy and a girl go at it. Not in that way - get your mind out of the gutter. And with Soul Calibur 4 hitting the streets this week, I thought I’d get my fingers loose and limber in case I know anyone that buys it. There are a total of three, count ‘em, three Japanese-developed fighting game demos available for download on XBLM: Dead or Alive 4, Rumble Roses Double X, and Virtua Fighter 5. Please note that I don’t play fighting games all that much. I would also like to note that the Def Jam and Smackdown games were not even considered for this piece, because we here at threevue.com don’t play with garbage. Begin!

I had a good time playing all three back-to-back, because it made them really easy to compare to each other. I had the most fun with Dead or Alive 4, was impressed with Virtua Fighter 5’s graphics, and was strangely appalled by Rumble Roses XX. By the way, does that mean that there have already been 19 other Rumble Roses, or is the XX an allusion to almost-totally-hardcore porn? I could see it being both.

VF5 felt like an actual fighting game, and that I was actually in control of my characters (although I definitely was just button-mashing). It also looked 10x better than the other two games. But it was also the least button-mashing friendly. I felt like it was so complex that it would take me weeks to get good at, and weeks I don’t have. I tried to master VF4 on the PS2 many years back and that was no fun. Ain’t gonna happen again.

DoA4 had multiple-level environments, which I thought was pretty awesome, only because it reminded me of Soul Calibur 2. RR XX was straight-up wrassling, which got old within a few minutes, despite the visuals of two “bouncy” girls flopping all over a sweaty mat. If I had to buy one, DoA4 would probably be my choice. But I’m not paying a penny for any of these games.

29
Jul

Review: Free iPhone App - Graal Zone


So, the iPhone App store has been out for a couple weeks, right? Which means that awesome free games are going to start showing up any minute now, right? After playing a bit of Graal Zone, which was released yesterday, I have a feeling that good games are still a way off.

This “MMO” allows you to run around the screen by tilting the iPhone, and then you poke your finger on the right side of the screen to use your weapon on the random people you encounter. That’s about it. You have to dodge bullets and stuff, too. There are 1-on-1 matches that are even less fun, and the wonky controls made me feel like I wasn’t in control of my character.

But for $6 you can get Graal Zone+ which gives you more powerful weapons. Totally worth it!

And look, a pretty neat “you’re dead” screen:

Steer clear, friends.

25
Jul

Review: Free iPhone App - IGN Reviews


IGN.com has made a free iPhone app that lets you read their reviews without wasting time (and bandwidth) on their graphic-intense website. It has its share of shortcomings, but instant access to their back catalog is quick and easy.

Each review features a quick summary, scores for each category, the full review, and a conclusion. They load really quickly, too. You can filter your reviews by system; but unfortunately, previous-generation machines aren’t available. Also, it doesn’t allow you to access their movie, TV and music reviews, but then again IGN.com seems to really miss the mark for those categories so it may be for the better.

So if you’re sitting at a GameStop and you want to make a quick assessment of whether or not the latest Cabella’s game is worth your cash (it isn’t), this may be a time and money saver for you. I just hope they update the app sometime down the line with older systems’ reviews, “best of” lists, and video reviews.

Download it here.

24
Jul

Review: Crash Bandicoot Nitro Kart 3D


Okay, I did it. I spent money on an iPhone app. My first purchase was Crash Bandicoot Nitro Kart 3D for 10 smackers.

I hadn’t played a Crash racing game since a demo I had on the PSOne, and I’m not sure if there has been any since then. Either way, it plays just how I remember it, and its accelerometer-based controls are easy to use. There isn’t a whole lot of depth to the game, but I knew that coming into it, and I got what I expected. The kart accelerates on its own, and you tilt the iPhone in order to steer. That’s about it.

I realize that months and years from now I will scoff at myself for paying real money for a game like this, but I wanted to give it a go - which brings up a good case for game-makers to start releasing demos. Throw out a one-track demo of this game and have the option to buy it pop up after you finish the race, and people will probably shell out some cash. Anyway.

It’s not as good as Aurora Feint, but it’s a totally different kind of game. It’s a pretty impressive demo of the iPhone’s gaming potential, and my grade-school-aged nephews really like it. Download it here

23
Jul

Review: Free iPhone App - eReader


There are a few eBook readers out there - two free and one that costs real $$ - and I think eReader is the best so far. That doesn’t mean that it’s perfect, far from it.

eReader only allows you to add books that you purchase from the sites eReader.com or fictionwise.com, which really limits what you can do. Luckily, they have a fair amount of free eBooks, which you can see in the picture above. So far I haven’t paid a penny for anything, and I’ve built a pretty good library of classics. The eBooks on their sites run about $10 each, which I am definitely not going to pay for.


(Tyler’s favorite chapter of White Fang, “The Trail Of The Meat”)

The text is pretty easy to read, and you slide your finger to “flip” the page. You can read vertically or horizontally. You can also adjust the font and size of the text.

So, if you want a quick library filled with public-domain classics, this is just about your only way to get it. If you want to import all those eBooks you’ve downloaded from Torrent sites, you’re going to have to wait for an app that runs them.

You can download eReader here.




Archives

People like us. We have

  • 57,870 visits

this many people are totally into threevue.com right now:

web tracker