Archive for the 'Retrograde' Category

30
Jun

Retrograde!: Diablo ll

diablo

I was just as ready to blow off the news of Diablo III as Russ was when I first heard the announcement. But then I thought back to the heady days of 2000 when I was 18, my friends and I would work all night in a hot restaurant, chow down on a stolen prime rib dinner, get an older server to buy some beer and we would all retire to their house for some LAN-Tacious Horadric Cube cook-offs. I’m talking gibberish now aren’t I? No matter. It was a different time and place. But I can’t say I understand if some won’t play this game just because of its angle at which the screen is shown. That’s like not playing Half-Life 2 because of the controls in the few driving segments!

I never played the first Diablo, and when I saw a friend playing the sequel I thought what everyone thinks when they see Necromancers casting spells and Paladins upgrading their broadswords… “This game is for fucking nerds.” Basically, this game was WoW before WoW and ‘intelligent online multiplayer experiences’ were household phrases. If you wanted to play with another group of people, you were going to have to put in the phone number, hear the squealing of the modem and find them in the world.

It was tedious, it was repetitive, it was hard work and in the end it was an epic game to say that you finished.

Check it out below and see why.

Continue reading ‘Retrograde!: Diablo ll’

03
Jun

Retrograde!: Earthworm Jim

Since emulating copyrighted software is illegal, and I don’t do it, let’s pretend I just got a Sega Genesis Emulator.

In order to celebrate and usher in a new era for classic gaming editorials on this site, I’m going to review my favorite game for the console; Earthworm Jim.

Remember levels like New Junk City or Snot a Problem? Yeah, me too. Remember COW LAUNCHED!!! or how Jim would say “Guh-Roovy!”? As the only kid on the block with a Sega, this was my marquee title. No one else had it, and it drew a crowd. It didn’t have the stark realism of Streets of Rage, or the wholesomeness of Toe Jam & Earl, and I think that is why it most appealed to the average 10 year old boy. Continue reading ‘Retrograde!: Earthworm Jim’

04
Apr

Retrograde! Little Nemo: The Dream Master

I think it was a regular poster on this page, 8bitmagic, that actually rented this game to me nigh on 15 years ago, down the street from where I lived at the Carmen Video. I liked the game when I was younger but couldn’t really master the finer points without the help of the instruction booklet which was missing at the time. Now that I have the internet to back me up I can make up for lost time.

Continue reading ‘Retrograde! Little Nemo: The Dream Master’

01
Mar

Retrograde: Bonk’s Adventure

When Bonk’s Adventure originally arrived on consoles across America, I was not one of the fortunate young kids who got to participate in the bonking. I had a NES at the time, not a Turbo Graphics 16. I was happy with my gray and black entertainment system, and never really jealous of the kids who owned the TG16. I would have liked to play Bonk’s Adventure, but it was not to be. Later the game came to the NES but what is a short time in the games industry of 1990 was an eternity to me, and as such I had moved on to new games.

I’m 25 now and I can finally go back and play through the game that eluded me a distant 17 years ago. Is it as good as Portal? You’ll have to click to see…. Continue reading ‘Retrograde: Bonk’s Adventure’

18
Feb

Retrograde: Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney


Edit: After playing through the rest of the game, I did end up with some OBJECTIONs! Well, one, really. I italicized it and inserted it into the review.

You know me, I like to ask questions. For instance, today I asked myself, “What qualifies as a Retrograde?”. Well, considering this game was originally released on the GBA in 2001, and Ace Attorney 4 comes out next week, I feel comfortable with its “Retrograde” tag.

I just started playing this last week on the DS and I’m having a helluva time. Right now, I like how ridiculously simple it is, and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t “lose” in this game if I tried. So really, it’s just like playing through a dual-screened book.

So, let’s see…what else does this game have going for it?

Continue reading ‘Retrograde: Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney’

13
Feb

Retrograde - 1943

 

 

As far as shmups go, I have to hand it o the 1940’s series by Capcom for being my favorite and the most solid and consistent of all the vertical scrollers. What I like about 1943 is the seeming simplicity of the game when you fist pick up the controller. Immediately you know what to do, everyone has played a game like this. Shoot the bad guys and dodge the incoming enemy fire, it’s all straightforward enough. But is that all? Not by a long shot my friend. If you downloaded Aegis Wing for free (and if you didn’t, just leave) then you know what I’m talking about.

 

1943 does what few other games dare to do these days. It repeatedly kicks your ass and sends you back to the drawing board to figure out how you played it wrong. And then, to take it one step further, once you realize what you did wrong and jump back in you still get demolished. You will not be coddled. Like a swift backhand from a drunken stepfather, 1943 shows its love with sweet, sweet abuse.

Continue reading ‘Retrograde - 1943′

08
Feb

Retrograde: Bad Dudes


Bad Dudes
1988
Data East
Some games were created using a template akin to other, more popular games and for the most part these copies fail due to the absence of original style and an over all unwillingness to go in a different direction. Bad Dudes is one of these games. But time has worked a miracle for the game; like John Travolta, it was so lame it became cool again. Continue reading ‘Retrograde: Bad Dudes’

25
Jan

Retrograde: Sonic The Hedgehog 2


Sonic games were awesome. Were. Nowadays, I agree with just about everyone that Sonic has now become the laughing stock of all gaming, stooping so low as to attempt to throw down with Mario in some forgettable Olympic action.

Continue reading ‘Retrograde: Sonic The Hedgehog 2′

28
Dec

Retrograde: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

cue the theme music
Sometimes a game will come along and deliver such a complete experience, such an even mix of challenge and reward that you know whatever comes next is going to let you down. Well, that pretty much happened to me after The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. Continue reading ‘Retrograde: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past’

23
Dec

Retrograde: Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow

caos
Yes, yes I know that both this and the first Retrograde feature both reviewed Castlevaia games. You might say that it is indicative of the direction I want to go in with this feature. Not in the sense that I want to cover games one entire series at a time, but that I want to progress from title to title in a linear way that makes sense. As you will see, Aria is different enough from the original Castlevania to warrant a back to back review.

Continue reading ‘Retrograde: Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow’

10
Dec

Retograde - Castlevania

castlevania
Yeah so , I’m not going to make no bones about it. I was a scared young man when I first played Castlevania. Too scared in fact, to play further than the first volley of flying Medusa heads. Keep in mind that this game came out just before Monster Squad hit it big and maniacal creatures lost all credit as frightening beings.

But now that I’m MAN I can play this game all day long, and even at night if I so fucking choose! But let’s get down to brass tacks. Continue reading ‘Retograde - Castlevania’




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