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Continue reading ‘OHMYGOD! It’s Just What’ I’ve Been Looking For!’
Author Archive for Mark Hill
12
Jan
10
Darknesses
Can you guess what the following games all have in common?
Dark Sector
Alone in the Dark
Darkest of Days
Darksiders
The Darkness
Dark Void
Dark Messiah Of Might and Magic: Elements
Dark Could
Dark Mist
Dark Angel
Perfect Dark
Perfect Dark Zero
Tenchu: Dark Secret
Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection
Bleach: Dark Souls
Overlord: Dark Legend
Operation Darkness
Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rainslick Precipice of Darkness
Eternal Darkness
Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Athena
Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror
Gear of War 2: Dark Corners
That’s right, they aaaaaaallllll suck.
Just as Mel Gibson proved to us without a doubt that Jesus invented the table, Ubisoft has shown us that everybody’s favorite assassin Ezio invented the Cafe Latte in the Thieves Guild of Venice.
Killer, lover, barista. What can’t Ezio do?
IGN gave Bayonetta the following score: 9.5/”Incredible”. As Russ pointed out earlier, the PS3 version only got an 8.2 on the PS3, but that’s more of a hardware problem. They’re the same game.
Here are some other games that B-netta is either as good as or better than according to the scores:
Modern Warfare 2: 9.5
Uncharted 2: 9.5
Assassin’s Creed 2: 9.2
Rock Band 2: 9
Fallout 3: 9.4 PS3, 9.6 Xbox 360
The Orange Box: 9.5
Mass Effect: 9.4
Bioshock: 9.4 PS3, 9.7 Xbox 360
…and so on. Truth be told, I’ve only played the Bayonetta demo, and although I liked it, I can’t help but be a little skeptical of that 9.5, especially since it received a higher mark than the IGN’s Top 360 game of all time, Mass Effect. Also, until I play the game (which may or may not ever happen) and it proves me wrong, I refuse to believe that it is right up there with Fallout 3. There is just no damned way.
25
Dec
09
iPhone Game Review: Babel Rising
It seems like iPhone game maker BulkyPix has released somewhere between two and three hundred titles in just the last few months (actually it’s more like six, but man can they send out some emails!). Only one of which though puts you in the sandals of a wrathful deity trying to stop peasants from building a tower to your Heavenly home.
The game is called Babel Rising, and tasks the player with stopping the completion of a tower by doing things like zapping the workers with lightning, washing them away with a tsunami, sending a rain of fireballs upon them, or a few other natural disasters. Think of it as a “tower offense” game. The ultimate goal is to delay the completion of the tower of Babel as long as possible, and gain points by killing the workers; complete with score multipliers gained by killing a bunch of them at once. The game also sports achievements, and Open Feint connectivity so you can see your friends’ scores.
All-in-all, it’s a good $.99 game. There isn’t much depth to it, seeing how there is only one level and all the powers are available to you from the very beginning. I would have really loved to see something to add to the replayability, such as early levels that start off easy with only a few powers, and becomes more challenging with greater unlockable powers. Handing the player everything right off that bat takes much of the incentive out of returning to it over and over again, and makes it feel more like a “Lite” version of a larger game.
It is fun while it lasts, though, it’s priced fairly, and even passes the girlfriend test. BulkyPix has nice line of solid games, such as the hit Hysteria Project, and this is another fun one to check out.
That’s just perfect. It would figure that the day after I finally unlock the damned thing, IW puts out a patch to, among other less important things, balance (a.k.a pussify) the Model 1887. After completely dominating a certain team deathmatch with these beauties akimbo style last night, I even got a message from the last I guy I killed telling me that I was cheap for using them because they are too overpowered. I love things like that! Now, no more.
At least I got one good night with them.
20
Dec
09
You Better Na’vi Late
Tyler and I are going to see Avatar right now. You are more than welcome to meet us there, but if you are coming from Scotland, Australia, Texas, or pretty much anywhere outside of Los Angeles, you better hurry, it starts in an hour. See you there!
I still hope there is some serious airbending.
Here’s an awesome video game/real world connection for you. Last week, Thai authorities seized a plane that was connected to smuggling arms in and out of awesome places like Russia and North Korea (both countries of which I have been drunk in. True story). The type of plane? An Il-76; a plane made by the very same manufacturer (Ilyushin), that made the Il-2, which just happens to be the subject of the most recent demo I’ve played: Il-2 Sturmovik: Birds of Prey.
Although it had just about the worst, and probably most racist voice acting ever in a game, I was big fan of Blazing Angels. It didn’t take itself too seriously by getting caught up in a bunch of details like flight instrumentation and an unnecessary variety of weapons, but it gave you just what you needed to have a good time: a machine gun, some rockets, and someone to shoot at. It was fairly shallow gameplay-wise, but it produced a lot of body-leaning good times.
Much of the same can be said from my demo experience wit Il-2. It’s not gaudy or flashy, and although it does have more depth Blazing Angels, it focus more on the ride than the small technicalities. There are a multitude of different viewpoints both in and out of the cockpit, and a target lock-on that ensures you don’t lose sight of what you’re going after. However, the tutorial mission puts you in the air with dozens of slow moving targets all around you, so I didn’t get a feel for anything as fast or intense as a dogfight. The controls are a tricky to wrap your mind around at first, especially since I feel I just mastered simple piloting techniques of the planes in Battlefield: 1942, but once I overcame that curve, it started becoming more natural.
Look, this game isn’t a Modern Warfare 2, or an Assassin’s Creed 2, or an Uncharted 2, but it can definitely be something a little less involved for you to get into after all those top-tier titles have run their course, and by then you’ll be able to pick it up on the cheap. If you liked Blazing Angels, or even really liked the flying in BF:1943, give the Il-2 Sturmovik: Birds of Prey demo a shot.
16
Dec
09
Notflix.
Here’s something that’s both interesting and annoying. Right now, Netflix.com is down, which affects not only the browsing of the site, but also the Xbox 360/PS3 playback. The only things available for me to watch are what I’ve already put in my Instant Watch queue, which I know now is just a lot of crap.
So now, I’m stuck here watching “Holly’s World” on E!. It is simply the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
With all the time and resources that Ubisoft put into making Assassin’s Creed 2, couldn’t they have done something to make Lucy Stillman actually look human, and not like the offspring of The Joker and a velociraptor with shoulders like a linebacker? Seriously, she looks horrible! At least in the first game she actually looked a little like Kristen Bell, but here she just looks like some sort of monster. As a matter of fact, the entire present day part looks extremely low-budget.
I know the modern, real world scenes are not the focus of the game, but as the place where you spend the first thirty minutes, it’s a very bad representation of what’s to come. Oh, and while I’m at it, I hate those two new characters that are helping out. Super annoying.
Game’s rad, though.
10
Dec
09
Battlefield: Good Company
I would like to thank EA for the very bold move of enabling Xbox Live party chat during online multiplayer matches in the upcoming Battlefield: Bad Company 2. You’re right, guys, cheating is not so rampant to the point that I should be blocked from functionality that I pay damned good money for.
As much as I looooove Modern Warfare 2, there are two things that I absolutely hate about it. The first one is obvious, and the second one is those goddamned pot leaf emblems and callsigns. They are embarrassing. Just embarrassing.
I wonder if I would have been more into this game if I had played its console counterparts first. That’s not to say that Resistance: Retribution is bad, but to me it was very close to being just another zombie nazi alien shooter. It had a nice little cuttie (my new term for cutscenes, get on board) to set the story, but within that first minute and a half, there were at least five names, three characters, and multiple references to the first game, and through my own fault I was buried in an alien (pun definitely intended) plot.
As an independent game though, RR played solid, and in the rare moments that the environment was at least a little brighter than extremely dark, it looked really good. However, I know that the intense and brooding look of the Chimera is one of main attributes of the Resistance series, but the small stature of the PSP screen makes them look more gray blobs clinging to a black wall. The action was done really well, and sported some of the best PSP shooting I’ve played yet. There is an auto-lock on to the baddies which negates the need to micro-manage the aiming. a-la the Medal of Honor: Heroes, and makes firefights fun.
I still think that Syphon Filter is just about the best shooter on the PSP, even though I’ve really only played about two other ones, but from the looks of the demo, Resistance: Retribution, seems like it could be close second. I just highly recommend that you familiarize yourself with the first games though, lest you be set adrift in a sea of “Umm…what”?
I’ve given MSNBC’s game coverage a lot of grief in the past, but they recently posted a list of their top 10 PSP games of the year that was as fair as it was informational. The PSP has finally been putting out a semi-constant stream of games lately (better five years late than never), but don’t really get the press that other systems do. This list was a nice round-em-up, and and actually got me interested in playing some of these games.
So here’s their list. If you’re a PSP aficionado, or just someone that likes throwing their opinions around, let me know what you think.
1. LittleBIGPlanet
2. GTA: Chinatown Wars
3. PixelJunk Monsters Deluxe
4. Half-Minute Hero
5. Patapon 2
6. MotorStorm: Arctic Edge
7. Beaterator
8. Monster Hunter Freedom Unite
9. FIFA Soccer 10
10. Resistance: Retribution
02
Dec
09
Demotopia! LittleBIGPlanet PSP
Right off the bat, LittleBIGPlanet on the PSP looks beautiful. It is obvious from the get-go that no expense was spared in the graphics department during the game’s jump to an even littlerBigPlanet. It still maintains that intentional kinda-real but kinda-fantasy look that the console version has, and because the PSP screen is so small, it actually looks a little better sometimes because you don’t get lost in visual details. I can say without a doubt that this is the best looking PSP game to date.
As far as gameplay, the one level that the demo contains pretty much sums up what you find in the console version of the game: Sackboy, platforms, collect-em-ups, and even a song so catchy that you’ll be nodding to the beat while you’re swinging from sponges. Through no fault of its own, however, using the PSP’s awkwardly placed analog nub really starts to cramp on the thumb even after only level, especially with the amount usage and lack of a D-pad movement option.
Overall, LBP PSP is a very impressive feat, and fans of the console version will most likely be fans of this one. Give the demo a try, it’s free you cheap bastards.
Pretty much every store in existence that has something to do with video games, brick-and-mortar or otherwise, is having some big-time Black Friday deals starting tomorrow morning. I, for one, have enough games to last me for the next few months, so I don’t think I’m going to be standing in line outside GameStop at 6am (although, Ben 10: Alien Force for the DS is only $9.99…).
I will tell you, however, that if you still don’t have a PS3 and have maybe been waiting for a better deal to pick one up, your wait is over. GameStop’s PS3 bundle comes with a 120gb Slim, and three awesome games: LittleBigPlanet, and God of War 1 and 2 for only $299. You can’t beat that with even the largest of beating sticks.
So hows about it? Anybody taking advantage of some sales? Don’t forget that online retailers and download sites like Steam are offering some major discountages, too.
Russ Crandall:
Tyler Miller:
Steve McKay:
Giang Cao:
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