threevue

Name: Dratin
Occupation: Fighter
Realm: Sulkin

Okay, I’ll just be out with it: Dratin has a small penis. I know, I didn’t want to go there, but it’s important to my tale. You see, Dratin is a compensator. I mean, look at all those massive, phallic horns sticking out of his armor! And why do you think he has such long hair? It’s to fool people into thinking he has a long…something else. And did you get a look at his sword? The poor idiot went into the armory and bought the biggest sword he could find – paying no attention to the fact that he accidentally bought the cardboard display model instead!!

Name: Chim
Occupation: Fighter
Realm: Sulkin

Chim has everything that Dratin wants – she has longer hair than him, and a REAL sword. But alas, this love wasn’t meant to be.

I heard recently that the morning after their first night together (during which much begging, pleading and excuse-giving took place), Dratin stole Chim’s (real) sword while she was still dozing, chopped off her hair, stole the gold she had hidden in her sock drawer, and disappeared.

It’s a sad story, but someone had to tell it. All’s fair in love and war, right?