threevue

Don King’s Prizefighter recently made itself available for download, and Mark and I pushed the demo up against the ropes in no time flat. Our thoughts:

Mark:
You know you’re not doing well in a boxing game when you find yourself yelling, “Stay down! Stay down!” at you own boxer, who’s spread like butter across the mat with his eyes swollen shut, and you don’t push the button combination single button that would get him back in the fight just because you don’t want to put him through any more. This is both what happened and how I felt as I played this demo.

The last-gen graphics, button-masher’s-delight control scheme and terrible acting of the real life people in the cut scenes trying to add depth to a game so shallow that it has to be attached to the likes of Don King add up to a recipe for disaster. If you are going to play a boxing game (which you’re not), play Fight Night, or Wii Sports Boxing, or just give yourself a right hook to the jaw, because they are all more fun and fulfilling than this garbage.

Russ:
What a garbage game. I’ll admit, I don’t play boxing games (my last true attempt at playing one was some Evander Holyfield game on the Genesis about 15 years ago), but that doesn’t mean that I don’t know what unfun means. And this demo is unfun. I couldn’t connect, and when I did, I didn’t feel like it was doing any good. The controls were so slow and wobbly that I would have a hard time believing that any sort of skill could be put towards this game.

To put it more simply, I simply would never pay for this game. I would maybe play it if I was being paid to do so. If you are interested in paying me to play this game, send me an email.