Name: Linykin
Occupation: Fighter, Thief
Realm: Shirdan
Specimen two has some issues with normalcy. His problem is that he’s probably the most normal-looking dude in Shirdan, and for that he gets teased constantly. He’s tried all sorts of things to appear “extreme” - he’s actually gone as far as drinking an energy drink and eating Doritos chips AT THE SAME TIME, in public! And as everyone knows, Doritos are the pinnacle of extreme foodstuffs.
He even recently grew out his hair in a desperate attempt to look “unkempt” but it just came off as a bit lazy.
At the local drinking hole on Friday nights he’s overlooked when standing next to the usual fare of goblins, orcs and white wizards. What he needs is a girl that is so out-there, so crazy-looking, that her extremeness will rub off onto him as well.
Name: Kaythend
Occupation: Woodland Fairy, Village Berry-Squisher
Realm: Shirdan
Many people don’t know this, but at the age of 12 the woodland fairies must draw booblecakes (or straws, as we call them) to see which trade/occupation they’ll be working the rest of their lives. Kaythend pulled the much-balleyhooed berry-squisher trade. It’s an unwritten rule that berry-squishers live long and fruitful lives (no pun intended), thanks to the seasonal and generally-easy labor of their trade (and an unlimited supply of tasty snacks throughout the day). Unfortunately, woodland fairies don’t just squish with their feet - they roll around in the berries with their whole naked fairy bodies, giving their skin a permanent pink/purple pigmentation. It’s for this reason that most berry-squishers remain single…
…but not today, folks! Linykin and Kaythend are a perfect match, and their wedding is set for this upcoming August, if you can make it. Best of luck to the both of them.
Goddamnit, please stop this!
Don’t stop, I love it.
Yeah man, I kinda like these. Besides, you can’t stop until you’ve at least done one of those cheesy “after they were married” segments that dumb dating shows do when couples hit it off and end up getting married.
Also I’ll be really disappointed if this feature ends without one of the characters being quoted as saying something lame like “larpe diem”
I’ve got a few more coming down the pipeline, like it or not. I’m just trying to help a soul in need. What I really want is for the actual people in the pictures to find themselves on here, and let me know how close to their actual characters I am.