threevue

When news first hit way back in July 07 at E3 that Rock Band would provide full length albums as DLC, all of our heads were bedazzled with thoughts of getting to play whole LPs like Weezer’s “Blue Album” and Ini Kamoze’s self-titled debut, featuring the record shattering hit “Hot Stepper”.

Sadly, the first album released was Judas Priest’s “Screaming For Vengence”… Not a good start. I think I and every other literate, halfway intelligent non-mouthbreathing person on the Earth collectively sighed and did a slow, Three Stooges-esque face wipe in disbelief. My hopes of playing either classic rock anthems or late 90’s punk/alt/rock were dashed by patent leather and studded bracelets. I hate when people go for the low hanging fruit of track selection that is Heavy Metal. Prime example: KISS. I hate KISS. You know why? Because everyone knows who they are, but no one knows their songs. People think KISS and they think make up and costumes, not classic rock. Name me two KISS songs. “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night (And Party Every Day)”, and…? What? That’s right, nothing. Because they suck. Now, name me one Judas Priest song. “Breaking the Law”? Good job, you must have watched Beavis and Butthead when you were younger. The same goes for The Grateful Dead and Pink Floyd to a certain extent.

NOTE: Snail Face = Bad

Screaming for Vengeance gets 5/5 Snail Faces

The next album to be released for download was The Cars, Russ wrote about it here, which (while not a great album) was a definite step in the right direction. It had songs that everyone remembers. Songs that you at least know the chorus of. But still, not good enough, Rock Band. If I want to swing my hips to a catchy melody I’ll go to my Hannah Montana Closet thank you very much!

The Cars gets 2/5 Snail Faces

Now word has come that The Pixies will be the next artist to have a full length album on Rock Band. And all is right with the world, because I love the Pixies. But I realize that many people will feel the same way about Doolittle that I feel about that shiny metal-bird album with artwork that belongs on the side of a van-conversion from Judas Priest.

Doolittle gets 4/5 Anti-Snail Faces

This post started out solely as a My Gripes but I had to change it when I got to the last paragraph because while I hate Judas Priest… and I do haaaaaaaaaate them, I love the fact that three full length albums have come out for Rock Band since its release, not to mention the track packs. When I heard about the DLC method of song delivery, this is what I had in mind. I’m really happy to see it actually coming in to effect.

PS - Neither I nor anyone I know near me owns Rock Band. As such I haven’t played it in 5 months.